His
by MaeLikesSarcasm
Summary: "She knew that this wasn't good for her, knew that if she kept this up the little sanity within her would wither away with her crumbling heart." Blellie, for the frdss-gstnnBlellieContest.


**Hey, I just decided to post this up now since I can't sleep (uhg stupid school, why do you have to start so early?!) Anywhoo, I originally posted this on my Tumblr a few days ago, but then I decided to post it on here for a competition. This is my first Blellie story, and honestly it was one of the quickest stories I've ever written. Anyways, I'm just going to mope around now about having to go back to school and try to get like five hours of sleep...Happy Monday. I hope people like it. Alright, thanks. :)**

**I apologize if the way Nellie and Blake act in this offends anyone. It's all fake, and I'm sure they're both nice and wonderful people in real life. So, if by chance they (Lindsay and whoever else I mention included) come across this and are like "Hey! I don't do this! I feel offended that this chick would write me like this; I'm going to sue." Well first of all...I'd be really excited that they'd have read this, and then kind of freaked out if they tried to take legal action against me. So, yeah. Um, I think you're nice people and yeah I'm ranting, okay goodbye.**

**(Pacific Time: 12:00 am , January 7, 2013)**

Nellie couldn't help but feel a pang as she watched Blake chatting away with one of the prettiest girls in their grade, Lindsay. She watched as Blake threw a charming smile her way, how Lindsay batted her eye lashes seductively, and how his eyes kept gravitating down her body; stopping to stare at her chest which seemed to be a size bigger than usual.

She knew she was being silly for feeling a mixture of hurt and betrayal; it's not like Blake was her's and he probably never would be with the way he acted towards her. They were some-what friends, but that was it. They bickered constantly and poked fun at each other daily. She tried to be careful with the things she said, but he seemed to not have a care in the world with what came out of his mouth.

He didn't know that his actions affected Nellie greatly; how with one word he could shatter her heart more than it already was; but Nellie was good with hiding her emotions. She would go on with the conversation, pretending as though she didn't feel the prickle of hurt stabbing away at her body or the slight burn of her tears as she held them in, refusing to show any weakness around him.

She laughed with him most of the time. Sure, it was at her expense, but he was talking to her wasn't he? Others would probably be horrified with the way she was letting him treat her, but she didn't care. She didn't care that he could control her with one simple word, because even though being around him caused her pain, she couldn't bring herself to walk away. Deep down inside she knew she had a problem but he was an addiction she just couldn't drop.

There were days when she just wanted to lock herself up in her room, curl up in a ball, and just cry her hearts content. The days where he seemed a little harsher than usual; when he would unknowingly poke fun at her hidden insecurities. Days where a good portion of her time was spent with two fingers down her throat, forcing herself to heave everything she'd eaten just to feel pretty; all because he had said something to make her feel as though she were the ugliest creature alive.

He plagued her thoughts constantly, and made many visits in her dreams. Even when she wasn't in his presence she thought of ways she could impress him. "Would he like me more if I did this?" and "If I lost more weight, would he treat me the same way he treated Marissa, Lindsay, Aylin, etc?" She'd get up earlier just to apply a little make-up on and wear clothes that were slightly too revealing for her own taste just to try and get his attention. But, it seemed like no matter what she tried, nothing was ever enough. He didn't perk up when he'd see her, his eyes didn't convey the same look they held when he was eyeing something he wanted, and once in a while he would even make sarcastic comments on her slightly altered appearance.

She knew that this wasn't good for her, knew that if she kept this up the little sanity within her would wither away with her crumbling heart. But she stayed and took every negative word he had against her even though each syllable he uttered seemed to burn her the minute they dripped off his tongue. It was times like this, when his deep tree-bark colored eyes glinted with a mixture of humor and power, when his lips turned to an almost menacing smirk as he watched the flicker of hurt wash over Nellie like a tidal wave, that Nellie questioned why exactly she continued to put herself through this heart break.

"What are you looking at, stupid?" His velvet voice broke Nellie through her musings; his words causing her body to be enveloped in a combination of deep sadness and hurt.

Nellie's eyes focused on the boy in front of her, not failing to notice that Lindsay had gone off to talk to someone else. For a moment, she felt a flicker of glee at the fact that his focus was solely on her, but it quickly developed into anger and frustration; boiling at his words that seemed to hurt her more than the razor's she sliced across her own flesh. With as much control she could muster not to snap at the young man staring at her, she breathed out her reply.

"You know, I'm not as stupid as everyone thinks I am." She bites out.

He stares at her for a few beats before speaking; his dark chocolate eyes that usually sparkle with humor turn serious and knowing.

"No, " He pauses. He looks at her closely, as if he were calculating her every movement. "You're smarter than you give yourself credit for." He tells her with a soft genuine smile. Her heart begins to thud in her head at the first compliment she'd received from him in weeks. Slightly confused by his response, Nellie sits dumbfounded for a few moments before saying anything.

"…What?"

"Never mind." He voices quickly. Blake turns back around to face the board, and she stares at the back of his head for a few seconds. A smile begins to form on her coral colored lips. Her heart begins to pound a mile a minute, and her eyes glitter with happiness. It was then she realized the reason she stayed all those times before.

It was because of moments like this; though rare, but when they happened Nellie felt as though she were floating on air. Her insecurities melted away, and her heart seemed to be mended back together just a tiny bit. The hurt became washed away, and for just a few moments she felt as though she could breathe again.

And she knew, that even if Blake would never be her's, she would always be his.


End file.
